Establishing clear and respectful rules for a friends with benefits (FWB) arrangement is essential to ensure that both parties feel comfortable and maintain a healthy dynamic. Here are some common guidelines and rules to consider:
1. Communication is Key:
- Open and honest communication is crucial. Both individuals should be clear about their expectations, boundaries, and feelings throughout the arrangement.
2. Define the Relationship:
- Be upfront about the fact that this is a casual, non-exclusive arrangement. Make sure both parties understand that it’s primarily about physical intimacy, not emotional commitment.
3. Set Boundaries:
- Discuss and agree upon boundaries, such as what activities are on or off the table, what kind of communication is acceptable outside of physical encounters, and whether it’s okay to see other people.
4. Regularly Check In:
- Periodically discuss how both of you are feeling about the FWB arrangement. Make adjustments if needed to ensure both parties remain comfortable.
5. Consent is Non-Negotiable:
- Always prioritize consent. Both individuals should feel safe and comfortable at all times. If someone expresses discomfort or wants to stop, respect their wishes immediately.
6. Keep Emotions in Check:
- Acknowledge that emotions may develop over time. If one person starts to have stronger feelings, it’s important to address it honestly and decide how to proceed.
7. Avoid Public Displays of Affection:
- Keep your physical interactions private and respectful of others’ boundaries. Remember that this is a discreet arrangement.
8. Maintain Discretion:
- Respect each other’s privacy and keep the details of your FWB arrangement between the two of you.
9. Safe Sex is a Must:
- Always practice safe sex to protect both parties from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancies. Regular testing is a good idea.
10. Be Mindful of Jealousy: – Recognize that jealousy can be a natural emotion in these situations. Discuss how to handle it if it arises.
11. No Pressure to Upgrade: – Understand that there’s no expectation for the FWB arrangement to turn into a committed relationship. It’s okay if it remains casual.
12. Respect Each Other’s Time: – Be considerate of each other’s schedules and commitments. Don’t expect instant responses to messages or demands on each other’s time.
13. Keep Friendships Intact: – If you were friends before becoming FWBs, make an effort to maintain your friendship outside of the physical aspect of the relationship.
14. Be Ready to End It: – Recognize that FWB arrangements may have a natural expiration date. If it’s no longer working for one or both parties, be prepared to end it amicably.
15. Be Discreet on Social Media: – Avoid posting suggestive or intimate content related to your FWB on social media to maintain privacy and discretion.
16. Use Protection for Emotional Health: – Understand that FWB arrangements can sometimes be emotionally challenging. Using protection emotionally can mean setting boundaries and practicing self-care.
17. Don’t Pressure for More: – Avoid pressuring your FWB partner into more commitment or exclusivity if they’re not interested. Respect their boundaries and choices.
18. Stay Respectful and Kind: – Always treat each other with respect and kindness. Even though it’s a casual arrangement, it’s important to value each other as individuals.
19. Avoid Manipulation: – Be straightforward and avoid manipulating or playing games with each other’s emotions. Honesty is key.
20. Closure is Important: – If and when you decide to end the FWB arrangement, have a conversation to provide closure and ensure both parties are on the same page.
Remember that FWB arrangements can work well for some people while causing emotional challenges for others. It’s essential to continually assess how you feel and communicate openly to ensure that the arrangement remains consensual, respectful, and comfortable for both parties. If emotions become too complex or the arrangement no longer works, it’s okay to end it and prioritize your emotional well-being.